I Guess Deep Down Aggy Isn't That Bad...

Aggie spirit lives on even when the faithful are gone

Austin Soviet-Statesman
Tuesday, May 12, 2009

They're putting in a new cemetery space for Aggies in College Station, which makes you wonder. Since it's a tradition for Aggies to stand up through a whole football game, will they bury them upright and at attention?

Hey, this would be kind of a green move because it would conserve space and help fight global overpopulation.

They say there's no such thing as a former Aggie, and that once you are one, you're happily branded with that designation for life. Aggieness is harder to get rid of than a bad tattoo. But the new cemetery opening up in a few weeks proves you wear this badge for eternity.

I can hear St. Peter now. "Nice boots, pal. Really nice boots. What's the deal with the sheep?"

The Memorial Cemetery of College Station will have a section called the Aggie Field of Honor. The first phase will have 2,900 burial spaces, although non-Aggies are welcome there, too, if you really want to be buried in the middle of a bunch of Aggies. It's probably a good idea to mix, though. Nearly 3,000 burial plots — that's a lot of burr haircuts.

Some 350 spaces have already been sold. Former Aggie football great John David Crow has bought spaces, said Ross Albrecht, the marketing supervisor for the cemetery. Former Aggie football coach R.C. Slocum is planning to buy a spot, Albrecht added. He said they have yet to hear from Texas Gov. Rick Perry, who was an Aggie yell leader when he was in school.

Maybe Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison is going to buy his space for him after the Republican primary.

The Aggie part of the new cemetery is decorated with a circular, concrete, tilted A&M logo. Vaults holding cremains will be marked with a dark red, almost maroon granite, Albrecht said.

Wouldn't the cemetery be even more festive if they included one of those UT outhouses like they used to stick on top of the Aggie bonfires?

What surprises me about this is that nobody's come up with this before. If it says A&M on it, you can sell it to an Aggie. Why didn't I buy a couple of acres outside Bryan about 10 years ago and start digging? I could be rich by now.

Oh, the municipal cemetery will also have a non-Aggie section for those who would rather be buried away from the Aggies. A 4-foot-by 9-foot grave site runs $2,000 in the Aggie section, and just $950 in the regular municipal section.

So why does it cost an extra $1,050 to get planted in the Aggie part? "It's just really the prestige," Albrecht said. I wonder if Aggies can get a price break if they buy season tickets for the whole family? And why not? The football team has been playing dead for the past couple of years.

But the big fashion question becomes should an Aggie be buried there with his senior boots on or off?

Actually, this Aggie cemetery is a pretty good idea for College Station tourism. Let's face it. The night life out there at the graveyard will be on par with the current club scene in the rest of College Station. No offense to the Dixie Chicken, of course.

You know, it's easy to make fun of Aggies because their traditions seem pretty goofy to non-Aggies such as myself, who just don't get it. But let's give the Aggies their due and admit that they manage to show a spirit that simply isn't equaled by the University of Texas. Who else but Aggies would have buried their deceased dog mascots so they can see the football score inside the stadium?

On the other hand, why not a cemetery in Austin for UT fans who have shuffled off to that great OU Weekend in the Sky? How about a cemetery for Longhorn faithful where each grave is marked with a full-sized plaster Bevo? Or a high-dollar Mack Brown plaque, embossed in gold, that comes with a Nike swoosh on it?

John Kelso's column appears on Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays. Contact him at 445-3606 or jkelso@statesman.com